Fall

Morning alarm Fall

Pretending to care Fall

Hurry Fall

Fake smile Fall

Being polite Fall

Awkwardness Fall

Weird feeling around cute boys Fall

Getting over the ex Fall

Forced positivity Fall

Facebook Fall

Makeup Fall

Diets Fall

Niceness Fall

Comb in the bag Fall

Money Fall

Neighbours Fall

Relatives Fall

Education Fall

Fancy music tastes Fall

Exotic food that I can't spell Fall

Expression Fall

Showoff Fall

Clothes that I would never wear Fall

Boxes of stuff you gave Fall

Love Fall

Hope Fall

Silence Fall

Noise Fall

Making friends Fall

Socializing Fall

Games Fall

Truth Fall

Lies Fall

Abyss Fall

Nothingness Fall

Everything Fall

I AM.

That time.

That glance in a crowded room.
That awkward conversation starter.
That accidental brushing.
That courageous move to hold hands.
That nervous laughter.
That sweet insomnia.
That never ending wait for a phone call.

That ringing of the phone.
That endless conversation.
That uncontrollable blush.

That date.
That minute you walked in.
That pounding of the heart.
That hot chocolate.
That pair of eyes.
That walk in the park.
That kiss on the forehead.
That sigh.
That first kiss.
That gasp.

That time.

ABUSE

That is a very blatant title. Well, I can't think of anything else. It happened last night. It started with him saying that he just wanted to lie by me because he felt good when he did. I whispered "No! That's not a great idea". I didn't yell. I didn't put on a stern face. I whispered. And then well it happened. Pangs of pleasure were louder than caution. And then I said "Enough! It hurts!" He stopped. And I don't remember when I fell asleep. But I awoke to see him fondling me while I was asleep.He got done. And then he kissed my forehead and left. I went back to sleep hoping the morning would never arrive. That I didn't have to see the marks of the night in the harsh daylight. Well, nature isn't forgiving. Cruel daylight revealed it all. He isn't the abuser. I am. Both the abuser and the victim.

Lights, Camera and Action !

Well, thats what a good beginning is for me. Terms vary. But its the same everywhere. As human beings we need action to keep moving forward. If the action stops, we stop. We stagnate. We settle. We die.
                             So to action and to keep this journal/ public-private news letter/ venting forum moving forward! Cheers!